Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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