one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
