FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
