the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
No subtext here. People are naked.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
