So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
