...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
