He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
