Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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