"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize