why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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