My liver just broke up with me...
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
