We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize