I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
