i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize