Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
