I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Success! We fucked roommates!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
