and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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