They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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