I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
