Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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