So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
