Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
