I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
