i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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