I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
