just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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