I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
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i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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