I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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