you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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