You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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