apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
