He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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