what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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