Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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