it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm going to jail i love you
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
