the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
