I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize