you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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