Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
