Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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