would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
