Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
