The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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