well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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