so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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