I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
