What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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