I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
