I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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