carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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